I knew it was coming; i always said i'd cross this bridge when i got to it, so here i go! The hair Deliema has arrived! First and formost- I <3 my hair!!!! (a wink to my girl Kissa) Im not about to go into all the sterotypes about black women with natural hair and what beauty does and doesn't look like because there are plenty of movies, books, and editorials that go into debth about this "situation."
But for myself, a black women, with natural hair working hard to make a come up in the entertainment industry it feels a bit prohibiting. Im a damn talented actress and when i get feedback sometimes its,
"Crystal you were really good but we were going for a "softer" look. No sweat- Im used to hearing Thank you, but no thank you. And this business is very fickle and subjective. But now it's getting frustrating because it's becoming personal.
I was talking to a mentor of mine in the business-white guy- and he said this, "Crystal - I love your Afro but as long as i been in this business 'we' ain't changed that much". Wowwwww! I love this dude for his honesty and he had a good point. I defend my fro to the fullest. However my intentions were never to try and make any political statements- it just what made me feel comfortable. Im a free bird. I like to travel the road less traveled; Tight Rope walk on wing and a prayer; Wear clothes that don't match; Walk on the Wild side; Dance with the Devil in the Pale Moon light :) You get it.
But yes things havn't changed that much and i blame my very extended stay in New York for letting me forget that. When i moved to NYC, it was like finally!!! People Like Me!!! Everywhere!!! Nubian, Eclectic, Cutting Edge, New Age, Afrocentric, Fearless -REAL down to earth folks! But that was only on our small planet in NYC. Middle America doesn't exactly get down like that. Things are more commercial, more tamed and so is the mainstream film industry- believe it or not. The world of indies not so much :)
All this is brought me to think about making some big changes to my image. Nothing permanent. But sorta trial and era to see what best gets my foot in the door faster. People that know me know i've always enjoyed the land of "wig"-dom. But as a girlfriend of my said that it sometimes takes the fantasy out of things when in the beginning of the day i go from a straight wig and later take it off to expose my beautiful napp-fro. People feel cheated i guess? Again, I don't really care what folks think ... but bottom line is it's getting in the way of my goals. Such a small thing too. Soo unnecessary. And im not saying that i can't get anywhere with my fro- au contraire- i just know when im closing in on a glass ceiling. So all this to say...Soon i'll be laying it down and shaking it up- and blowing in the wind...so here's the heads up.
Ultimately i hope im wrong about natural hair and showbiz.
